It's almost Valentine's Day and love is in the air! Of course, in many of our favorite operas, love is in the air all the time. The opera stage is filled with true and steadfast lovers, as well as some not-so-great lovers who should just be avoided at all costs. How do you tell who's worth your time and who to leave behind? Don't worry, we've got you covered.
Leporello (Don Giovanni) - Not
We all know that Don Giovanni, the archetypal play boy, is bad news. So it would only make sense that his sidekick and faithful servant, Leporello, is bad news as well. Sure, Leporello might have more of a conscience than his master, but he still helped Don Giovanni take advantage of literally hundreds of women. He even catalogued each conquest, which is really weird. Stay away!
Leonore (Fidelio) - Hot
Not every woman would risk her life and disguise herself as a man for years based on the mere suspicion that her beloved husband might still be alive. Leonore is brave, fiercely faithful, and wise; she is not a damsel in distress in the slightest. When the going gets tough you can count on Leonore and if she loves you, she will go to the ends of the earth to protect you from harm.
Dorabella (Così fan tutte) - Not
Listen, Dorabella's heart is in the right place, and she is certainly looking for love, but this girl is not mature enough for a real relationship. She has quite a flair for the dramatic, which can get out of hand when she's declaring her grief over her war-bound lover one moment and flirting with a new guy in the next. Dorabella's got some good qualities but as a valentine, she's a pain!
Prince Tamino (The Magic Flute) - Hot
Well first of all, he's a prince, but not the sort of stuck up prince that would drive you crazy. Tamino is humble, kind, and determined; when he puts his mind to something (i.e. undergoing life-threatening trials in order to join Sarastro's brotherhood), he is sure to follow through. He's also outdoorsy and the perfect person to get lost in an enchanted forest with, provided you don't run into any giant serpents.
Escamillo (Carmen) - Not
This guy has an ego that's so big, he could probably date it and be happy. Escamillo is that guy on Tinder who only has pictures of himself leaning against muscle cars, except instead of cars, he has raging bulls. He's a brilliant bullfighter and adored by all of Spain, but that glory has clearly gone straight to his head. Not only would you constantly have to sing his praises in order to date him, you'd also have to compete for attention with his entourage and the many women he kisses at every bar he enters. Definitely not worth your time.
Susanna (The Marriage of Figaro) - Hot
She's smart, she's loyal, and she's great at giving advice. Susanna's the full package and she's much more low maintenance than the lords and ladies that she serves. If you win her heart, you can be assured that no amount of tricky, adulterous counts will tear her from your side. Don't accuse her of disloyalty though; she may have some tricks up her sleeve to deal with you.
The Witch (Hansel and Gretel) - Not
If this woman's cannibalistic tendencies aren't enough of a red flag, her lack of sympathy towards lost and starving children should be a definite turn-off. Okay, so maybe Hansel and Gretel shouldn't be nibbling on strangers' houses, but that is a problem that can be solved with a stern talking-to rather than a hot oven. Let's say things get serious with the Witch and you decide to settle down--her parenting skills are dubious at best, as she might decide to eat your children! Save yourself the headache, and the toothache, and don't get involved.
Rodolfo (La Bohème) - Hot
This boy is a sweetheart. He's charming and funny, he hangs out with a bunch of young artists in Paris, and he's a writer. Cue some serious swooning. Rodolfo puts others first; when Mimi falls ill, he tries to break up with her, but only so that she can find a wealthier man that will be able to properly take care of her health. Of course, he ends up by her tuberculosis-ridden bedside anyway. Is that a little stupid? Maybe. But is it extremely romantic? You bet.